IT GETS BETTER/SHIT HAPPENS

So how many of you have heard these things before? “It’ll get better” and “Shit happens”? Me too. Actually for awhile, I was in the same mindset. Now, do I, a 30 year old man, still think that? Uh…it’s complicated. For me, it’s 50/50.

Yes, it’s true. Shit does happen—more often than you’d think—BUT does it ever get better? Um…it depends. Bad or slow day at work? Barring getting fired, sure that will more than likely get better.

On the other side of things, think of when a loved one passes away. Whether it be a friend, family member, or even a pet. Does it get better or easier then? Again, I think it depends on who you are.

Let me give you a personal example. I lost my Grandfather a few years ago. He was the “backbone” of our family…the “leader” if you will. Fortunately he died in hospice a before Covid hit, so he was surrounded by family. I still remember—vividly—my Dad and Uncle hugging each other in tears, and my sisters Abbey and Caroline running into the room crying.

So maybe it’s not the actual person you miss but their “aura”. It’s what you remember and miss about the person, not the person themselves. Da, as we called him, really was the Patriarch of the whole family. But this isn’t a Da-centered post.

Has it gotten easier or better? For me, not exactly. It still conflicts me. Yes I am happy Da isn’t suffering anymore, but I still miss him every day. One more thing about my Grandfather. It may sound selfish or self-centered but I am glad Da saw me hit some form of success before he passed away. I take pride and comfort in knowing one of the last things Da ever read was an article about me in the Washington Post. The article came out a day or so before he went in, and he got the chance to see it.

Maybe it’s my Autism at play, and as a result, my tendency of overthinking things, but here is the short answer to a complicated question, at least from my perspective. Yes, shit happens. That’s inevitable and universal. But, for me, I tend to hold onto or linger on things so it doesn’t get better per se. Or at least if it does, it’s still always in the back of my mind.

Now do NOT under any circumstances, take this as me complaining or being negative or whatever. Overall, I’m generally positive and upbeat. But… “Shit happens”. Maybe this post seems jumbled and all over the place. If it does, well, Welcome to My Mind! That’s the way my mind works. It is random aspects. Bits and pieces of a bigger picture.

So does stuff happen for you or to you? How do you cope? Does it get better? Let me know in the comments and thanks for reading!

-Tom

Author: AuTom Spectrum Blog

I have Autism and am a self-advocate and public speaker. On the side I do stand-up comedy. I live in Baltimore County and have an AMAZING girlfriend

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