I like to think I am dedicated to my work and to my craft. I am a public speaker. That is my work, my play, my passion. I have spoken in front of many people, all from different professions, whether it be medical staff, medical students, residents, or college settings. In addition to that, I have also done TV and radio interviews, a dinner in Washington, DC through a foundation based in Boston, Massachusetts, and a national conference through Kennedy Krieger Institute here in Baltimore. So yeah…I’d say I am pretty successful, dare I say even “famous” in the Autism community here in Baltimore. I absolutely love my work and would like nothing more than to continue speaking for a long, long time. I enjoy every second I get to work in this position. Nor do I take my standing or position lightly.
Having said all those positive things, I do have some hesitations–“phobias” if you want to call them that. I like to think I am making a difference but what if I’m not? What if it’s all in vain? What if my messages and seminars fall on deaf ears? I hope to Christ this isn’t the case, but still, to me it is a legitimate and, again in my opinion, completely founded concern.
I work my ass off both in-person during public speaking and through my blog. If I reach even one person, fine. But I want to reach more than one person. And maybe that sounds egotistical or narcissistic or selfish of me. But I feel my message deserves to be spread. Autism is not a “real” concern to me…the stigma and ignorance surrounding it is. I want to reach the masses with this message. And maybe it’ll never happen. Maybe I will never accomplish this goal. Maybe it is just a lost cause or a pipe dream, but dammit I am still going to try! You can’t blame me for that.
I know my family and girlfriend support me, as well as my bosses and co-workers at my job. Not to mention my agency. They all believe in me and have faith in me. So maybe that in and of itself makes me “successful”.
So what do you think? Let me know in the comments and thanks for reading!