FEARS AND WORRIES

We all have things we worry about. I am about to tell you mine. Please note this is going to be very opinion-based and I am opening up in this post. I am worried first and foremost about my own insecurity. All those “What if’s” going through my mind are concerning to me. “What if I’m not good enough?” is probably the biggest one. I know people respect and look up to me when it comes to Autism, but what if I give the wrong information? I am worried about the prospect of failure.

I know I can’t win everyone over. That is not my intention. However, I am concerned that my advice and everything I do and have done for the Autism community will fall on deaf ears. If we want to delve even deeper, I am fearful I am not good enough for Allie. To me, Allie is perfect in every way, shape and form. I could use some work.
My one fear, speaking of Allie and relationships, is dying alone. I am pretty sure this is almost a universal across-the-board thing. Why else would people get married? I think the fear of dying alone is very real and a legitimate concern. I am convinced that almost everyone, if not everyone, has an inherent fear of being alone. Humans almost crave the attention of other people.

I think we as humans try so hard to gain the approval, respect, and love of others. Most people who go apeshit crazy—mass shooters for example—are often loners. Now whether this proves my point of wanting companionship is up for debate, but I see it as a valid argument.

Actually, it may not be just other humans we want attention from. We all know that one “crazy cat lady” kind of person. I think there is a bonding connection and a mutual understanding almost between domesticated animals and their owners that each wants to please the other. And help, too. Dogs in particular are very dedicated to their owners and form bonds with them.

I sometimes actually tend to trust my dog more than my own “human” family. Why? Dixie does not judge me. I am her human and she loves me no matter what. Also I think animals make good judges of character. They know when something is “off” with a person or another animal.

So in closing, I have a few things I worry about. I don’t know if you noticed this or not, but I did not say I am scared of death. I accept that as a part of life. Granted, I hope that doesn’t happen to me or any of my loved ones for a long time, but I accept it. As I stated, I just don’t want to be alone when it happens.

So that’s my personal worries and concerns for my own self. Feel free to weigh in and let me know what you think. If you want to, feel free to comment on what your fears are.

Thanks!

-Tom

Author: AuTom Spectrum Blog

I have Autism and am a self-advocate and public speaker. On the side I do stand-up comedy. I live in Baltimore County and have an AMAZING girlfriend

One thought on “FEARS AND WORRIES”

  1. You are good enough hon. I love you so much! ❤️ I know my worries are about my health and what is going to happen. You are my everything honey! I couldn’t imagine life without you. I can’t wait to spend my life with you!

    Like

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