We are all motivated by someone or something to do something. For me, weird as it sounds, my motivation is partly negativity. As someone in the “public eye” in the Autism community in Baltimore; a “local celebrity” if you wanna go that far…I have these demons. Not literal ones, of course. Like the little naysayer voices in my head that say “You’ll never make it” “You’re nothing!” “You have no clue what you are doing or talking about” “YOU SUCK!” But funnily enough, that motivates me. It gives me the motivation I need to go forward and prove them wrong. I try to make everything I do having to do with Autism, or anything I do in life in general, count just to prove those little voices wrong. Sometimes I fail, but who cares? It’s part of being human. You win some; you lose some.
Now is all my motivation based on cons? No way! On the opposite side of the coin, I have so much going for me. I have a GREAT job talking to people and I consider that motivation. My girlfriend motivates me on a daily basis. Of course, I motivate myself. I tell myself, “You got this!” And that helps. My boss at Pathfinders is an inspiration and one of my biggest supporters. I feel honored to know my boss and have her consider me not only a colleague, but a “friend”.
I have people I know look up to me for advice. And I am not sure how I feel about that. I feel humbled that people look up to me like that, as a role model almost. But it also puts a TON of pressure on me. Like, “Oh shit! What if I give the wrong advice? What if it doesn’t work out?” The Autism community in particular is like that. I love being a kind of “go-to” person for Autism advocacy. BUT I am just one person with Autism. I know how it impacts me and only me. But that all goes back to motivation. I feel obligated to give my POV on Autism. I am driven by that need to know. People actually want to listen to me and that not only inspires me, but also motivates me.
People wanting to know about me is a great feeling. I feel needed. I feel I am making a difference in people’s lives, and if that isn’t motivation…I don’t know what is! I motivate others and that, in turn, motivates me to keep going and to work harder. But enough about me and my life’s work. I want to hear from you and what motivates the rest of you. As always, feel free to comment. Thanks!