OK. Now normally I am not the religious type, but something happened last Friday, March 16, 2018, that sort of rekindled my Catholic faith. Mt=y grandfather, who I and my family called Da, passed away at the age of 93. Da was always very religious and it made me think he is in Heaven with God and Jesus now. It has been hard without him, but at least he is not in pain or suffering anymore. The last time I saw him, he looked miserable but comfortable. He was asleep and drugged up on pain meds via and IV. At Gilchrist in Towson, where he was when he passed, they told us they would give him a day, at most. So I wanted to go and say goodbye. That was Thursday, March 15th. I would have gone on Friday to see him alive one more time, but I had a medical procedure that morning.

It’s kinda weird, but the one thing I did not want to happen the day he died…did happen. It’s not that he died. I was anticipating that…no, I was hoping he would not pass while I was recovering from my endoscopy. But sure enough, I woke up loopy and out of it. I asked my mom how Da was doing. My mom said, “We will talk about it in the car…” I knew immediately he had died. I had this, “Fuck” feeling. You know what I mean? This is exactly what I did NOT want to happen.

The most sobering thing to me was seeing my sisters running into the room where Da’s lifeless body was, just in tears. That and seeing my dad and my Uncle hugging each other and crying. That was the hardest part for me. I have never seen my dad or Uncle that upset.

Odd as it sounds, there is an upshot to Da dying. And that is: It brought the family together. Unfortunately, that seems to be the only way to bring people together anymore…a tragedy. My Uncle from Oakland, California is here. As are my Uncles from Houston, Texas and North Carolina. So there is that side to it. I see a silver lining here. Too bad we had to see each other again under these circumstances, but still…it is good and consoling to have everyone here together.

And Da is not in pain anymore. I do not feel bad for my grandfather. The person I feel for more than anyone is my grandmother, Grammy. Grammy and Da had been married happily for 68 years. That is nothing short of amazing! They had six kids (five boys and my Aunt and godmother), TWELVE grandchildren, and two great-grandkids. However, those 2 great-grandchildren are 2 1/2 and 1 year old, respectively. I think they are sort of oblivious to the prospect of death and I am sort of envious of that. Ah, to be young…

I am one of those 12 grandkids and am honored to have had such a wonderful and loving grandfather. So this post goes out to Da. Cheers, Da and I will see you in Heaven! I love you so much!

Author: AuTom Spectrum Blog

I have Autism and am a self-advocate and public speaker. On the side I do stand-up comedy. I live in Baltimore County and have an AMAZING girlfriend

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